There’s something to be said for staying busy at work when life gets hard.
There are projects to work on and deadlines to meet. Work gives us something productive to focus on. Sometimes, that’s a welcome relief from things that are hard to bear.
But sometimes, taking care of yourself – and your work – means recognizing when you need to step back.
When the World Hits Hard
On a terrible Saturday in September, I received a text message I wish I’d never had to read.
I’m not exaggerating when I say this: I saw it and literally fell down. The room spun. I was confused, frantic, and feeling so many things at once that it’s hard to even describe.
Then I found my phone on the floor and read the text again.
It was real. And awful. And heartbreaking.
My favorite human for more than 30 years was gone.
How It Feels Matters
I’ve lost people I love before. And in the past, I’ve usually found a way to keep myself busy before and after funerals and gatherings with loved ones. Work was always especially good for that.
But this time, staying busy wasn’t the answer. And I knew it the day that awful text found me.
I’m truly blessed to work for a company whose focus on empathy is real and true. And it was OK for me to take the time I needed to grieve.
That felt different. Really different.
But here’s the thing: I’m realizing now that accepting I needed that space felt just as different as knowing it was OK to have it.
The Difference Between Busy and Better
I love my work. I always have. It’s something I find genuinely rewarding, and in the past, it’s also been a welcome distraction when I’ve experienced loss.
Don’t get me wrong. I think sometimes a little distraction is a good thing. It gives your mind and heart a break from feelings that can be overwhelming. So, I’m grateful to have it.
Reflecting on the days since that text message, I’ve been thinking about how closely emotional health is connected to the rest of our lives, including work.
Sometimes you need the comfort of something meaningful to do. Other times, you need the space to process a big change.
And there’s nothing wrong with needing one or the other.
Finding Gratitude and Balance
In recent days, I came across an old holiday ornament with a photo of my friend inside. He was smiling. Which, if you knew him, was pretty rare in a photo.
I was grateful to find it. Bittersweet.
Grief has a way of catching you off guard. Some days, I can laugh, enjoy my work, and appreciate the ordinary moments of life. Other days, a thought or a memory will hit hard. Sometimes all of that happens in the same afternoon.
It’s changing how I think about work-life balance. It’s about more than how you spend your time. Sometimes, stepping away for a bit is what’s best for both sides of the equation.
And sometimes, it’s about giving yourself a little grace when life hits hard.
